The Richmond SPCA is the only non-governmental, non-profit animal welfare agency in the region that euthanizes animals. It is also the only private agency that currently accepts every pet brought to its door. The result is that we have become the place of last resort, and we are the ones held responsible for "doing the dirty work" that we all abhor. It has become too easy for the community and our governmental agencies to ignore the role they play in contributing to overpopulation and the need for euthanasia.

Until now we have justified the killing of animals by saying that it is a necessary evil, and that if it must be done, at least we can assure that it is done humanely. We strive to make each animal's final moments as peaceful and gentle as possible. The experience is similar to what would occur if your own pet were taken to a veterinarian: someone holds the dog or cat while another gives an injection of pentobarbital sodium. The pet is usually dead before the needle has been withdrawn from the vein. What saddens us so deeply is not the way in which the animal dies, but the loss of an innocent creature so capable of love, devotion, and joy. We mourn the loss of another beautiful animal with glistening eyes that speaks to us, telling us of how much he wants to play or snooze or love us instead of being tossed aside.

We accept the need to euthanize animals who are suffering - ones who've been so neglected or become so sick or injured that ending their misery is clearly the most humane course to take. Others we feel must be put to death for public safety - aggressive animals who have been trained to fight or have been so ill-treated that they are no longer able to live with people safely. Obviously there are times when euthanasia is needed.

What we can't accept is ending the lives of animals who would make loving companions if only given the chance. The price the staff pays in killing such animals is high. "Having to choose which one you have to put to sleep really makes you hate people," says Kennel Manager Elsie Veney. "It's due to neglect and irresponsibility. I always tell the animals we're sorry and it's not their fault. You have to say whatever you can to make it easier on yourself." Animal Health Technician Heather McKee whispers "I love you" when she cradles the animals. "You have to force yourself to do it,'' says McKee. Geraldine Thornton stopped euthanizing animals nine months ago, after 21 years. ``I couldn't take it anymore,'' she says. ``You hold the animal to your chest and you can feel their heart beating, and then you can feel the life leaving their bodies. Sometimes they look into your eyes.''

People take on the job of euthanizing animals because they love them and want to provide as much comfort as possible, says Stephanie LaFarge, director of counseling services for the American SPCA in New York City. LaFarge says society places little value on the job, and those who kill animals often become pariahs at their own shelter. ``Everyone at some level feels an anger at those who do euthanasia,'' she says, adding that it would be unnecessary if pet owners would spay or neuter their animals.

The American Humane Association estimates that seven million pets and strays are put to death in shelters each year, almost all of them killed by people who love them. And it has its consequences. Dealing in death can produce nightmares, flashbacks, sleep disorders, obsessive thinking and depression, says Teresa Wagner of Osterville, Mass., a mental health counselor who conducts workshops for shelter workers across the country. Shelter employees who euthanize animals ``take the brunt of everybody's guilt and blame,'' Wagner says.

``I don't believe that controlling the animal population through killing them is morally acceptable,'' Executive Director Robin Starr says. ``This is not euthanasia. Euthanasia is mercy killing. We're killing them because we have too many animals.'' Grief is only one emotion shelter workers face, Starr says. There's also their anger at ``incredibly unconcerned'' pet owners who nonchalantly turn over their animals knowing full well they may die. ``The deepest anger for me is people who bring in a sweet and faithful pet who has become aged and is not fun anymore.''

Euthanasia is the price we all pay for pet overpopulation - and it's a price that we must collectively decide is too high.